It’s easy to love yourself.
Just imagine that this is the last minute of your life.

You only have 60 seconds left.
Everything is slipping away!

This is it, your final experience.
And it’s all you.

This is the last minute of your life.

You see every color, smell the air, you fall in love with whoever you see.
It’s all happening in you and these are your last seconds.

Remember that it’s is all you.

For that time will come when it really is your last minute.
When that time comes this love will engulf you and you won’t want it to leave.

You’ll hold on with all your might, but death will have the upper hand.
It will have grown too strong for you.

What you took for granted, always anxious to move onto that next moment, when you would have the happiness you so craved.
Now you realize. That was the lie … that was the illusion that marked your life and now it’s become very late.

You’ll want more of what you missed out on.
But now the final seconds are ticking and there is no other place to go.

So why put it off? Can’t you stop believing that what you crave can only happen now?
Fall in love with yourself, by seeing the preciousness of this, as if it were your last moment.

Feel the love now in this, your last minute.
It’s all you and it’s all waiting for the recognition of this simple truth.

It waits only for you.

Right now, get a feel for what’s happening in your immediate experience. Use your senses. Connect with whatever is happening.

Now … do you notice how many objects and sensations are absolutely weightless? And, do you notice, that some things and thoughts have weight to them? Some things feel quite heavy, even as a sensation. Possibly the heaviest thing in the room is the psychological sense of you.

You might notice that the weight of things varies. Some are heavier than others.

Let’s explore this weight thing. I’m going to suggest that everything that feels heavy is invested with an illusory sense of self.

Now as you feel that some things seem to possess weight, while others are weightless. I’m going to suggest that even the deepest of sense of self is absolutely and utterly weightless. Is this your experience? Can you experience the weightlessness of your own self? This is the awakened and alive being; your Authentic Self.

I will further suggest that what seems weightless is the perfect interconnection of everything just as it is. What has weight are our personal illusions about what isn’t right or what is wrong. I would suggest that weight is a quality of resistance, while weightlessness is the absence of resistance. We resist what we label as “not right” or “wrong” or “shouldn’t be” or “this should be, but isn’t”.

See if this isn’t true in your direct and immediate experience. If you have the time and the inclination, let me know how this mediation went for you. Do these observations have merit? Or are they nonsense?

Stop weighting (waiting) and find what is true, effortless, and without wait at all.

You will discover that even what has the most weight, that projection of illusion is the obstacle to clear seeing and it can be easily seen for what it is; illusion.

It is the person who is relaxed, resilient, and aligned, in a relaxed way with whatever is happening. For that person has seen through the veil and temptation of thought. It is this veil that creates a separate universe based on the lack filled identity of the thinker.

The key to relaxation is not the conventional definition of relaxation. No, it is something quite different. It is liberation from the shackles of the aspiring self. Why is this true? It is true because it is the aspiring self, the self that needs to achieve something/anything for and in behalf of the psychological self. This is the source of all unnecessary stress.

Consider these three statements:

1. I need to ace this test to show my mom and dad that I really am smart.
2. I need to ace this test because I love this subject and I need to show myself just how competent I really am.
3. It would be great to do well on this test since I’ve done the reading and have studied hard for it, but if I don’t, then I’ll need to see what I’ve missed in my preparation.

The first two statements are, obviously, lack-based. Not doing well on the test will bring the student into direct contact with the Wound. Situations like this are linked to dropping out of school, depression, and going against what one truly loves. Statement 3 — reflect a resilient body/mind not in the thrall of the core inadequacy belief.

Liberation can only happen through seeing. We see the needy and demanding self in all situations. We see it in all psychological wanting. And the more we watch, the more we see just how subtle the aspiring self is. It’s active through much of our lives.

We are always needing and wanting. We have to “get it”, because we once hold onto a belief that one we “get it” the pain of our present existence will magically disappear.

Why are we always obsessed with needing and wanting, because our core identification is with inadequacy. It’s as simple as that! Because it is our core identification, it creates a secondary persona that must always need and want. It’s a body/mind often in pain with itself as the source of its persistent suffering.

All of the stuff you’ve noticed in The Simple Exercise (Part 1 and Part 2) are artifacts of that very veil of separation. They are not “bad” and they are not “wrong”, they are just illusory.

The Awakened Being also has such thoughts, but they are no longer vested with the authority of truth. They are, at best, provisional and fragmentary. They are not sources of self-belief.

My old Zen teacher used to always say, “Don’t make something out of nothing”. This is what we all do. We make something out of nothing. Enlightenment is the biggest something we make. All personal and psychological goals are “somethings” — they are forceful add-ons onto the flow of reality that create falseness, where there is, free of such demands, nothing but truth.

When we make something out of nothing, we are carving out a separate “me” from the flow of being-ness. This making something is our source of stress, of what is non-relaxed, nervous, and straining to some goal that the projected self is seeking to discover within the every-day flow of being-ness. That is, precisely, what blocks this awakening. When we make something out of nothing, we make ourselves “special” and that is another delusion of the ego. A special person with special needs and special forms of victim-hood is nothing but stress and want.

Just this … just this.

That which sees seeing is free of everything. It is the vessel in which everything else plays out. It is utterly and perfectly relaxed with whatever happens, including the very death of this body/mind. It is liberated from the special-ness and goal driven persona of the separate me.

Wash dishes and observe how you make something out of nothing. You’re “me” doing the labor of dish washing. Observe this same special, craving entity making something out of nothing all day long. That’s what it does. See yourself making something here and there.

So observe this and see what happens next.

See the thought and see it, in that same moment, as a veil, a habit, a lack-based, free-floating energy, an echo of your primal past. Ah judgements — veils, ah — unnecessary evaluation — veils, ah, strange demands on the flow of everyday existence, ah just stuff. This is how it works. This is your burden, as well as your freedom.

We are driving to pick up a friend at the train station. It’s a cold and rainy day and we want to make sure that we get there in time. But then there is a problem. A car has broken down and we are stuck in traffic. We’re going to be late and we’re upset.

We just notice the whole cluster of events, needs, and feelings. We notice the energy.

But we also notice the depth. The desire not to make our friend wait in the cold and rain is very reasonable. It’s “normal”. The irritation with the traffic is also “normal”. If we are feeling very frustrated, then we are noticing a fact. Noticing our frustration is like noticing a tree. It’s a “thing”. It can’t be wished away. But if we do want to “wish it away” then we notice that as well.

We might also notice the desire not to have these painful feelings. Now we’re noticing on the level just below the presenting facts. We see desire. We see aversion. We see craving.

We see it exactly as it is. We might also see how our minds want to color the experience. “I am such an ass to get so upset by such everyday events.” We notice that. We see exactly how we make up the narrative of our lives. It’s not a made-up story. It’s just the inevitable consequence of a life lived in this world.

We see all of this. And we keep on seeing it. We have trouble falling to sleep and we become annoyed with our over-active mind that is keeping us up when we really need to sleep. We see this as another fact. We see the desire not to be this way. We see all of it. We see it as we might see anything else. We see the sexual attraction we might have for our partner. That’s another fact.

And we marvel at just how complicated, simple and just plain amazing our body mind is. We see hunger. We see the pleasure of eating. We also see the pleasure of just going to the bathroom. We even see the pleasure in reading posts like this one. We see how they meet our own desires for clarity.

And the more we see, the more we see the great ocean of thoughts and feelings that underlie all of our everyday experiences. That’s a whole other world. But it’s a simpler world, mostly made up of desire, aversion, and boredom. We see how everyday experiences intersect with this world. Now we are seeing the whole play of life. It’s fascinating. We are really enjoying this.

And then, one day, something new happens. We see that we are not this vast landscape of thought, feelings, events, and all the rest. But we also see that we are this vast landscape! We are it and we are not it.

Rather, we are all of it and all of it is what we truly are. The seeing and all the rest arise together and we are that. It is truly amazing!

We see that our desire for enlightenment was an inevitable outcome with our identification with our most negative and troubling mental images, because they were painful and persistent. We wanted to escape all of that, by achieving Nirvana. Now we see that as just the play of desire that will happen when there is identification with a negative self-mental image. It’s really as simple as that! Those painful states, are just passing feeling events … really no different from passing pleasurable feeing events. If we feel in life, as we must, then we must accommodate the painful, as well as the pleasurable. But the more we see, the less attached we will be from fleeing one state, while craving another. This is the whole point of this exercise.

This “simple exercise” is the most direct path to freedom. It is the way of trust.

A great rejoicing will one day come. That is the delicious taste of freedom and joy. It will come. It’s waiting for you.

Ready?

Observe what “you” are doing right now. You’re probably reading this post. So this doing will be the subject of this exercise.

As you notice this “doing”, also notice the mental image of you doing it, as in the statement “I am reading this post.” This mental image is the idea of the “me” who is reading this and hoping to get something out of it. Get a very tangible sense of that mental image.

That mental image is the illusion, the phantom, the seeker, the inadequate one, the one that lives on hope, the one identified with insufficiency. That’s it! This mental image is the person you think you are.

Now integrate this exercise into your life. Whatever you’re doing, also notice that same mental image of you. It’s like a constant companion sitting on your shoulder … watching, hoping, evaluating, clutching, etc. That is the seeker. Observe it in every possible detail not with the purpose of killing it, but just giving it your sage-like attention. Let it be your teacher, your guide.

Just keep on watching. The more it is seen, in every possible detail, in the most subtle of contexts, the weaker it becomes. One day, a very deep and powerful laugh will arise and you will be free of the personal identification with it.

The mental image doesn’t, necessarily, go way. That’s not the purpose of this exercise. So don’t try to make it go away. That would be the mental image in another one of its many, many roles.

What you are can’t be expressed in words … but the mental image, can always be described. It’s an object … a thought/feeling cluster.

We are slaves of desire because we believe we lack. Do you want to be free of this unending burden? Do you want to finally rest in the perfect beauty that is your birthright and your one and only authentic identity, then explore this exercise.

What is it you lack? Before reading on, answer that question. What is it you lack. Be very specific and identify what it is you lack.

Once you have a very concrete sense of what you lack, then ask yourself this question:

Based on my ideas of what I lack, who would I like to be were my desires for a new and better me to happen? Get a very specific idea of who this person would look like. How would this person act? How would this person be in the world?

Again be very specific. Who is the person you dream to be?

Now get the whole picture into one coherent whole. We have the story and picture of the lacking self and the story and picture of the dreamed of self.

That is the lie. That is the false authority. That is the echo of your own invalidation, for were you not invalidated, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

See this! See it right now!

This is not who you are.

You are the timeless perfection of this present moment. You are this eternal life that is now. I see this. I know this!

Every story of who you are, lectured to you by the tireless mind, is just the same lack/dream story we have already defined. It is nearly always present!

You make the bed … the lack/dream person is making the bed. You wash the dishes, the same lack/dream person is washing the dishes. As you do these simple jobs, see this happening. See the story. See both the lack and dream stories as one single event/process.

The more clearly you see this, the freer you’ll be.

As you do this simple exercise, allow the timeless, story-less you to flower. It has no past and no future. It is the timeless perfection of the present moment.

This is what is meant by waking from the dream. The mind will continue sending you images and stories about you and your life and that’s great, because now they are changed! How have they changed???

Here’s how. Instead of possessing the quality of personal identity, they are more like pictures displayed in an art gallery. Some are sad, some are fun, some are boring, and some are interesting … but none define you … none are you.

Remember: get a sense of the lacking self and then the dream self. Combine them into one whole story. Don’t do this as a mental exercise, but as one observed as you go about your actual life. That will make this exercise much more effective and powerful.

This post has the power to liberate you from the illusions cast by the invalidation trauma. And it says why only you are the answer … only you are the healer … only you are the holder of power. Only you.

Maybe 45 years ago I read the Tao Te Ching. I was in high school and I was reading a fair amount of philosophy. I had an enquiring mind and I wanted to know what was real. I was also seeking a way of being in the world that was free of just struggling to be popular or be successful by getting the most gold stars. I love the Tao and, to this day, it, along with the Chuang Tzu, are my favorite philosophical writings.

After getting my BA, I moved to New York and got a job for the City’s Department of Health VD Statistical Analysis Unit: Harlem Division. A friend who also worked for the Department gave me Krishnamurti’s The Awakening of Intelligence and I knew then that it was in Eastern Philosophy that I would find the answers to my questions. That was 33 years ago.

I know now that the whole purpose of those readings, joining a Zen Temple, meditating for many long hours, was to see this: that I am the answer … just as you are your answer.

I now realize that all challenges, all problems are resolved in me. The happiness and stability I sought are right here. They have been here all along. Nearly all the challenges that have been constructed by my brain were just illusions, ghosts that sustained my own sense of lack and inadequacy.

I see that the brain is just another body organ that must do what it does. It projects. It projects love here and well-being there. It projects danger there and hardship in the other direction. It is addicted to its own voice and, over time, it comes to believe that it is me.

I now know that it isn’t and it never was. What I am and what you are is carried by the body, but is not the body. I am right here and I am born of the same creator that made the mountains and the spiders.

I am not special, but I am unique as you are unique. These words, this moment, and in this place, I express my uniqueness as you express your uniqueness and in that connection, that fragile thread that connects all of us together comes alive. There is joy in that … the joy of being who we are and the joy of being together.

The love that you are and that you express starts right here with us. When you know that you truly are the answer and you are not a slave of the demands of the outwardly seeking mind, then the love you have sought will arise spontaneously as the birthright you probably never realized. That love is our creation and it is, also, the end of the journey.

Love to everyone this Valentine’s Day.

The reasons for our unhappiness are complex and are really not the topic of this post. I urge you to explore the Wound and the Fear-Selves in this blog. But the best way to find out why modern men and women are unhappy is to read my book. Knowing the roots of unhappiness goes a very long way to discovering how you can become your own healer. That is the power of this book.

As a consequence of our Wound, we spend a lot of our life fighting ourselves and fighting life. It’s a two-front war. It is also a war that only life as it is and the body/mind as it is, can win. The fighter always loses.

Yet we persist in fighting. We fight in a million ways. We resist, we demand to control, we employ force against life and ourselves. We are expert fault finders in ourselves and others. And because we start from a place of self-rejection, then everything we do and encounter in life eventually becomes stale and self-defeating. So we start the search again and then the same thing happens. So we pick ourselves off the mat and start the search again.

And so it goes. When we start from a place that is out of balance, that is severed from our Authentic Being, we must lose and lose we will.

We live as loyal slaves of our minds. So we rush here and there hoping for a respite from the stress and strain, hoping to stumble on a little something to feel good about. Often it works, but only briefly, so again we go about our life in the same old way, stumbling here and there.

But there is another way. You don’t need to waste the rest of your life struggling to make it work.

Slow down. Take a sober look around. What are you seeing? What is really happening?

If we take this very slowly, we might notice that something so amazing our minds will be compelled to reject it and demand we move to something more interesting. The mind will always label something it can’t understand as irrelevant or unworthy of its consideration.

We notice that everything has happened! Yes. Everything we notice has already happened. It has to have happened for us to notice it. What we see, hear, taste, touch, and think has already happened. Everything we do has already happened.

The mind can’t understand anything more than this. Because it won’t know what to do with this insight it will insist that you move on. Do the dishes. Go shopping. Go to a more fun website. Anything but more of this.

You need to see and live this truth for it to really sink in.

Everything has already happened? Fuck! That’s just insane. What do I do now?

Everything has already happened … every feeling, every thought, every desire, every pain, and every situation. It’s all in the past.

When this is really seen and lived we stop, forever, the war against the self and the world. It has all happened.

This is the meaning of surrender.
This is the way … the only way to peace.

Thus if a war is happening in the world, there are no “shoulds” that it shouldn’t be happening. It is happening and then whatever is noticed, that too has already happened. We stop saying things like slavery shouldn’t have happened or the holocaust shouldn’t have happened. Should has nothing to do with it.

When this is seen and lived we experience the joy of self-Realization.

Who is it that is joyful? That is the far deeper question.

The greatest gift we can ever give ourselves is that there is no place we need to go and no one we ever need to become.

For everything, including who we think we are, has already happened. Our kids have already happened and our parents have already happened. The war is over. I am at peace.

Now it “feels” like there is nothing to do … (long pause) yet … Life fills all the arising projected gaps. It is inexorable, and irresistible. Life can’t be stopped.

But what about me?

I ask you to take what I’m about to say, for now, on faith. But as you implement these ideas into your life, see if what I’m saying isn’t true? Really explore that, because, in the long run, I don’t want you to take anything I say on faith.

The person you think you are has been defined by the process of resistance. When you say “this is who I am”, we are also saying that we are not everything else. We are separating ourselves from life itself. We say “this is me”. This is the energy that is saying, in effect, “no” to life. I am not life. I am me. If we can observe this very carefully, we see that we are self-defined (through our parental teachers) as a negative. It’s a resounding “No” to life and a thought-filled, mind-based definition of who I believe I am. The ego is our collective, personal No!

Observe this universal “no” as you go about your day. Notice it right now. Notice the thought-based division your mind is habitually asserting into the free-flow of life.

Since this is all a lie, it is inherently unstable, out of balance, and never (NEVER) can sustain happiness. It is persistently externally focused toward stuff and achievement to feel good about itself. It is a hungry ghost always on the prow for what will give it fleeting security, happiness, and fulfillment.

This is what needs to be reversed.

How is this done? It’s very, very simple.

Right now relax. Notice relaxed breathing going in and out. Just breath and feel stresses leave your body and world.

Now say “yes” to everything. Say “yes” to your sense of physical and non-physical self. Say “yes” to whatever is happening in your life. Say “yes” to everything.

If something happens you don’t like, like getting stuck in traffic, breaking a glass, losing a job, getting sick, say “yes” to it. It is real. It is truth. It is life. Say “yes” and let life flow with your “yes”.

Now you are no longer fighting life. This is the true meaning of surrender. The ego surrenders to life with a powerful “yes”. Yes is life for life can no other way. It has all already happened.

The only energy that can resist and fight life is the ego. That is the thought-based “no” that is the source of both our psychological identity (who I think I am) and our suffering.

We say “yes” to what is. We say “yes” to ourselves and “yes” to the world. Do you hate how the poor are treated? Say “yes” to that fact and let Life be your guide as you say “yes” to it. Have you recently lost a parent? Say “yes” to that and “yes” to your feelings. Just keep saying “yes”.

This is not some new-age crap about saying it’s all love. It is what it is. I would never use the word “love” and Auschwitz together. Sometimes (rarely) we might say “yes” to life and join a revolution. It might be the word “yes” that finally gives us the courage to do what the frightened, contracted ego never had the strength to say. But the power is in “yes” and the weakness is in “no”. Sometimes, our “yes” might mean we need to say “no” to the demands of our kids or our bosses.

And then as we do this, in just a short time, we start to realize that we are not the person we believed ourselves to be. We are not the “no” based ego, the perpetually searching seeker. We are neither the lovey-dovey fool and uses “yes” and positive thinking to feel good about all the stuff that we really resist and would prefer not to have in our lives. We are something completely different. We are life itself. We are THIS! And this is perfect.

Right now sense your false self as the separative energy. Now, in contrast, feel the “yes” that feels like the Tao, like life, … like Truth.

Thus you really are perfect.

So let’s get right down to the nitty gritty of this issue, because it is a decisive one.

Spira asserts that awareness is separate from sensation or the object of with which it is aware. Therefore, if I see an apple or if awareness sees an apple, awareness is not the apple. The apple is a fleeting object or sensation the arises and disappears within a constant field of awareness. This is the basic contention. This creates three aspects of belief and one class of the exalted that separates them from everyone else that hang on their every utterance (point 4).

1. That there is an entity, awareness, that is always separate from the objects it sees.
2. Because objects come and go (including time), they have no inherent reality.
3. Because awareness is, ironically, separate from objects, such objects are relegated to a dream-like unreality. Awareness transcends all appearances. Therefore, it is neither born nor dies. This negates the need to fear death, since there is no death.
4. Because I claim this to be true and I live this reality consciously, I am part of an elite group that has “made it” and everyone else is a seeker to my exalted position. In other words, it creates two distinct classes. Those who have made it and everyone else.

This is a belief system because it appeals to ego. By negating that content of one’s life, it achieves beliefs need to transcend complexity, conflict, and struggle. And it cancels out people’s greatest fear, their fear of death. Death is an illusion, a mere appearance on the field of deathless awareness. Thus, it achieves the same consoling power of most other organized religions.

How does this view differ from the position espoused here?

It differs in only one very important way. I say that awareness and the object of which it is aware are one … they are not separate. You can’t be aware of an apple without the apple. The apple and awareness are, briefly, one process, one manifestation. This applies to everything in the universe. This is akin to the Buddhist concept of mutually arising. The sense of “me” arises when it does and falls away into oblivion when it doesn’t.

Why is this difference important?

It is not a belief system. It does not give birth to an “in” group and an “out” group. It does not cultivate hope in an eternal existence. And, most importantly, it does not negate the actual contents of consciousness. They are real in the moments they are perceived and experienced.

I also need to say that I’ve made this same error that I’m accusing the non duality zombies of having made. I am also vulnerable to belief and I’ve taken the lure of Vedanta philosophy. I admit to errors in some of my writings. I now believe I was wrong.

This is a very subtle point, but the implications of the difference are vast. You might notice that the Spiras and Fosters and Moojis of the world never, ever admit to the possibility of error. Their egos would never permit even the possibility of error. They are truly religious MEN.

One more proviso; I believe that Spira is really quite brilliant. He is a very subtle person and most of what he says I agree with. It’s just on this one point that we appear to differ. But it is not a trivial point. It boils down to this one issue: is awareness separate from the objects it perceives or is awareness a quality of the body/mind that arises WITH objects. Spira dances around the issue by saying that the body/mind is also an object of awareness. It is a reductio ad absurdum.

From the perspective of Liberation, this means that what you are experiencing is true and actual, as it is experienced. It is life itself expressing itself as you and through you. It is visceral. Also it occurs within time itself which has its own limits. For when you finally die, perhaps awareness dies with you. Perhaps death is forever.

So make this time be as it must, for it can be no other way than how and what it already is. That is liberation … liberation from the compulsive need to achieve or to be someone we are not. In the case of this post, it is a freedom to be free to have what Rupert Spira seems to imply that he has … freedom from the burden of believing in the reality of objects.

But let’s put all the words (thoughts) aside, for words are thoughts and thoughts are words.

What is this? What is happening right now free of any theory?

There is light snow outside. My dog is outside on her walk. It is grey and cloudy. I’m typing on this computer. I’m struggling to make the words sound right. It’s chilly here.

All of this is life.

But we see something more. We see this: there is knowing and not knowing simultaneously arising. There is control and non– control arising simultaneously. There is a sense of me-ness and not me-ness arising simultaneously. This is the unity of opposites coming together forming an ever-fluid, but inherently mysterious and unknowable union.

The mind would love to have all of this neatly bundled up in a nice little package with a little pink bow. But life will not submit to our demands that it be so neat. It is fluid and ungraspable, yet it has the quality of being graspable, thus we can also say that we grasp and not grasp simultaneously.

All light casts a shadow. The light and shadow are one. The seasons form a circle. The Earth revolves around the sun and the sun revolves in its own circle within the Milky Way. The galaxy revolves in its own far vaster circle. All difference finds unity and unity finds expression in its multitudes of differences. Happiness and sadness are one. When we strive for one over the other, discord must result. Awareness shines within its infinity of objects. This is the way it is.

I would love to say that it’s all life, but I can’t quite “escape” the sense of “me” within this greater life. For this small story of “me” matters as well, for the little story of “you” also matters to “me” and in that connection of caring there is life itself. Is this not the truth of love and connection? Does this not make perfect sense in this very moment of this?

Can you SEE the connection that aligns “you” and “me”? That’s it.

Christianity and Islam say something like, “Sure life sucks, but, just do what you have to do, obey the rules be a good boy or girl, attend services and you’ll spend an eternity in heaven. If not, then you get an eternity in hell fire.”

Eastern religions say something like: “Sure life sucks, but it isn’t real, so you have nothing to concern yourself with. If you have the strength of will to negate everything you experience, you’ll be in Nirvana like me. If not, then you’ll have a life of endless suffering.” People find this message very comforting because it does away with actually dealing with the challenges of actual life.

And this is, precisely why, so few people are drawn to the message of Liberation. It doesn’t seek to comfort, but it does console. It doesn’t seek to explain, but it does invite exploration. It doesn’t offer easy answers, but it does encourage a life that is truly lived.

Incidentally, Judaism says, “You’re screwed, you might as well have some more lox and bagel”.

“Teachers” like Rupert Spira, Mooji, and Jeff Foster are in the eastern camp eastern camp. To me, they are just blowhards with their own style of ego drives.

And here is why.

Spira says that awareness is not the sensation, that they are separate (which is pretty funny for a hard-core non-dualist). So if you see an apple the awareness of the apple isn’t the apple. Is that statement true?

If we remove the apple (the sensation), then the awareness of the apple also ends in perfect symmetry to the experience. This is where all non-dualists fall into error. Awareness and the contents of awareness arise in perfect harmony. There is no separation as he claims. If this contention falls apart on examination, then his whole message falls apart.

And this is why the stuff on non duality is just a variant on the tired drones of eastern religion. It’s about transcending the real. It’s nice and clean. It does away with the messiness and challenges of life, by just negating them. It is, in a word, bullshit. It also has a weirdly disembodied, waspy quality to it … like listening to a zombie who has had his fill of brain eating. In fact, they really are like zombies. They want to eat your brains

Life is to be lived in its brilliance, ugliness, challenge, sadness, and joy. So live it! Be the dance you so crave. Abandon disembodied fools like Spira and the others (and even me, if you must) and live your dance just as it is, even if it hurts like hell … that too is part of the journey.

If you want to end violence, hate, and fear, then see the legacy of invalidation in your own actual life … your life and in society. That is the message of Liberation from the start. No one said it would be easy, but it can be done. That is why I believe in this message, my writings, this blog, and all my relations. Yaa-Hay!

Do you belong to a church?

She said no, she didn’t belong to any church.

I said she did.

She said she didn’t.

I said,

You belong to the church of _________ (her name) where there was a pew for only one person and that person was her. At her church all the sermons were delivered by her and the god of this church was her as well. She was, very much, a church goer, in fact she was a religious zealot and her religion was her own sacred, irrefutable beliefs. These were the most powerful beliefs in her life. Nothing, no matter how compelling, could remove her belief in them.

So what is your church? Who gives your sermons? Who is your god? What kind of zealot are you? Discover the fact that you have been the most dutiful church goer in the world and start becoming free from what has been unseen in your life.

This is what the Wound does to us. Even when were feeling relatively good about our lives, the Wound is still very much in charge. Because feeling good means that the circumstances of our life are not in conflict with our current Fear-Self! The Wound is always ready to pounce on our well-being as soon as life circumstances change and our brittle masks crumble to the ground and we are left in the full grasp of the Wound.

Every time this happens, it’s a gift. But it’s a gift only to those who can see what isn’t apparent.

For each time your Wound is brought to life, an unseen aspect of your core belief is raised to conscious awareness and you are given the gift of wisdom, if you choose NOT to run away from the pain and fear in your life and, instead, choose to have the courage to stand and face the Wound, strong on your own two feet. You ignore the dark messages of the Wound only at your peril.

The Wound is really your very best friend. For unlike so many other friends, the Wound is not fickle. It will always stay with you as your source of wisdom and insight. Yes, it has its costs. Nothing in life is free, but it is exceedingly generous with its gifts. Be open to them.

The closer you become to your Wound, the closer you will become to the grace that will provide that tiny gap, that tiniest of portals that will finally give birth to the person you have always been.

Ultimately you will realize that nothing is a thought, but since you are operating from the vantage point of the mind, you will also see that the mind only sees thoughts. So when the mind looks at an apple it is seeing the physical image and then instantly translating that into its language. And if English is your language, the mind asserts the word “apple” in the form of a thought. It does this with everything in the universe.

This is why using “the witness” as the metaphor for awakening really doesn’t ‘work’, for that witness is also a thought, in this case labeled with the obscure term: “witness”.

But we also must admit to ourselves that truly we are not a thought, just as the apple is not a thought. Both you and the apple are so much more than a mere wisp of a thought.

And it is here where the mind stops in its tracks. It can’t “know more”. It can only “know” me and the apple. It’s stuck there.

We realize that no matter how wonderful and amazing the mind is, it does have its limits. The mind is a powerful tool, but, at the end of the day, it’s just a tool, a body part.

We need the mind and its labeling processes, just like we need our heart to pump blood and our lungs to process air. We need, for now, our bodies.

The mind is fast and we easily become hypnotized by its near instantaneous light-show. See this.

But to have wisdom, we are called to come to terms with its limits. Because nothing, whatsoever, is a thought (even a thought refers to something that isn’t a thought, but it can never, ever ‘know’ this thing that it is pointing to) then nothing can be known … yet somehow knowing happens. It can’t be grasped, but it can be trusted … it takes a very free person, a person unshackled utterly with the compulsion to be identified with any belief, to live this life of trust.

Combined with the actions of the mind ‘some’ knowing and unknowing arise simultaneously. If there wasn’t ‘some’ knowing, then we’d be utterly lost and confused in a world that is always foreign and devoid of explanation. Being and non-being arise simultaneously and so it is with knowing.

The mind reduces experience to a dull, predictable, grey monotony. But wisdom says “no” to the mindlessness of the mind and experiences wonder; the simultaneous arising of partial knowing with unknowing. It is the wonder of being free of the compulsion to “know”. It is the wonder to be free of the compulsion to be secure as this or that. It is pleasure in uncertainty.

This is wisdom.

Who am I really? I just want this seeking to end. Why am I so easily annoyed?

These questions always and must come from an identification with lack. It’s a particularly sticky identification for two important reasons:

Just as I discussed in my previous post, the question, who am I, is a trigger and it becomes, over time, a rather painful trigger because it must return us to our inadequacy identification. The question is a thought and as a thought it can only point to other thoughts. It casts us into a universe of thought.

Yet we are told, time and again, that who we are is not a thought. So what can a lack-identified person do. Anything he chooses to do must be linked to the lack identity. This is the perfect catch 22 situation described often in the writings and talks of Alan Watts. There is nothing one can do. One is truly stuck and what is stuck is the lack identified person. We are stuck with ourselves. How disgusting is that?

Everyone seeks and everyone seeks because everyone is psychologically identified with seeking. The purpose of seeking is always to reduce pain and suffering. This is why we become addicted to seeking. As seekers we sustain our image as:

And this list is just a start. But this is how the seeking is played. It is designed to compensate for the underlying and mostly unseen world of the Wound, which is our deepest and most intractable identity.

There is a way out.

We see that every identity (no exceptions!) is a thought … just a thought. We are not a thought. We are this mysterious energy that makes this all possible. The mind/brain wants everything to be a thought because the language of the human brain is thoughts! See that. You hear a crow and you think “crow”. You see your boss in your local food store and you think “christ, why did I have to bump into that asshole.” Look around and you’ll see the physical tapestry of actual life fully translated into a separate world of thought. This is how the human organism works and it isn’t a problem until it takes over our identity and this happens not long after our birth. So it’s a fact and not a matter of mere belief.

However, thoughts really are beliefs. That crow isn’t a crow and that boss isn’t an asshole (or maybe he is on second thought). The mechanical process that we robotically apply to the world around us we unwittingly apply to ourselves.

We are this. It can’ be touched or known (just like you can’t know the crow or the boss). Such demands are the mind. The mind needs to process the world using thought. The mind is just a body part (a very important one). It is not who we are, no matter how habituated we are to believe this.

Notice that you are always fine and trouble free. The body might be sick and in pain, your life may be totally fucked, but you are hunky dory. Notice this a thousand times and the tethers of thought will truly loosen. Please don’t take my word for it. It can only be known in your direct and immediate experience. And that is what awakening from the lack-based identity is all about. You are here, the world within you … that’s it!

I’m here … and that’s all she wrote.

A little more than three weeks ago, my wife and I, adopted a rescue dog from our local SPCA. This dog, which we call Lucy, was recently spayed. When we first saw her she was calm and serene. She was recovering from her ‘procedure’ and was under the effect of the minor surgery.

But after taking her home and started to get acquainted with her, we saw why some family abandoned her into the streets of Philadelphia. Inside she was mostly calm and extremely sweet, but once she was outside she was overwhelmed by fear and became violently aggressive with every dog she encountered.

She pulled with all her might on her leash and when she even thought another dog was near, she would go absolutely crazy with rage and ferocity. She would throw her entire body against the leash, growl, and act like she wanted to kill everything in sight. When she actually encountered a dog, she would attack.

And then when we returned home, she was nothing but sweetness and love.

Our dog suffered from emotional triggers that made her extremely fearful. This is a common problem, especially among rescue dogs.

But there is a far more interesting story here and that was about my own triggers. Her aggression, matched with my inability to control her behavior, triggered my own sense of helplessness and ineffectiveness. I dreaded taking her on a walk and often after one of our harrowing walks ended, I was filled with the sense that I was totally inadequate to the task of living with this dog.

We hired an expert dog obedience trainer who was not at all overwhelmed or discouraged by our Lucy’s aggression. She showed us many techniques we could use to start transforming Lucy into becoming a real companion. We were inspired by her many stories of successfully dealing with these kinds of dogs. I started using these techniques and I could see improvements in Lucy.

But then on one walk, on a very quiet path near our house, she encountered a fearful girl and excited by the girl’s fear she became even more aggressive and truly terrified her. I simply broke down in my own distress and decided to return her to the pound where she would surely be killed. I even knew the problem was me and yet my emotional distress was making it possible to make her death a fact.

Lucy became my ultimate trigger. My Fear-Self, which was confident and self-assured, was broken by this dog and I was in direct contact with my underlying Wound. I was not only miserable, but I was suddenly filled by an identity that was entirely characterized by my personal inadequacy. I was even filled with thoughts of self-destruction. This little dog had taken me to the depths of depression. I would never have thought it was possible.

If you have read my book Liberation from the Lie you will know exactly what I’m talking about it. The brittle Fear-Self, the enlightened Eric mask had crumbled and what was revealed was the scared and agonizingly painful Wound that lay underneath. My failure with Lucy placed me in direct contact with my own primal invalidation experience and I was in the full embrace of my inadequacy belief.

That day, when my wife returned from work, we talked about everything that was happening. I said that acquiring Lucy was a huge mistake, it was like having a baby with developmental problems and at the age of 60 I no longer had the energy or capacity to handle the challenge. I said that I believed that Lucy was an insane dog, a kind of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. She sarcastically called me “Mr. Zen” and asked why I was so effected by a common dog problem — why was I so quick to give up — why was I so ready to give this lovable dog the death sentence?

We decided that the problem was much more about me than the dog and I agreed with this. I knew I was the problem and I knew that I was discovering something that needed to be discovered and explored.

Lucy’s main trigger was simply being outside. Away from the safe confines of her home she became hyper-reactive. She was in a place where potentially lethal danger was around every corner. She could never let her guard down. So she scans her environment for danger and her way of dealing with that danger was by killing it. As her owner, I knew that her thoughts were crazy, that her insane behavior was the outcome of living a life in the streets of a big city; a place where threats to her well-being were everywhere.

People are no different. Our psyches are filled with dark, vulnerable places where our most extreme fears are given life. To someone else, our fears may appear strange and unnecessary. But to the person experiencing the fear, these triggers are the most real thing in their lives. This is the land of the Wound. The details of why we are so prone to suffer are complicated and go way beyond a simple blog post. If you want to learn more about the source of our fears then I urge you to read the Liberation Book. You can do so for free (see the left side of this page for a link to the book online) or you can purchase a mobile edition for 4.95 (see left side as well) or purchase the physical copy of the book here.

What are your triggers? What causes your mask to crumble into unhappiness, frustration, and hopelessness? Often they are challenges with children, work, health, spouses, friends, parents, and poverty. Every trigger is a bullet that goes straight to the Wound. They are revelations into our own deepest memories of pain and suffering. In these circumstances, we are no different from the dog Lucy or her owner Eric. We are in face-to-face contact with our original invalidation experience long, long ago.

The vast majority of our triggers are much subtler. The more sensitive we are to these triggers, the more we realize that they are almost always present. We also make the unexpected discovery that we have countless “positive” triggers as well.

We come to realize that triggers are memories and that memories are thoughts. Triggers are the legacy of our memories operating energetically in our moment-to-moment experience. Seen this way, they are all pointers to our past expressing themselves in our present. Ultimately we see something even deeper. Triggers are who we take ourselves to be! We come to see that we are our triggers!

I can watch political advertising on the television and notice triggers happening in how I react to what I’m watching. When I see a beautiful Vermeer painting, I can understand that as a trigger. When I smell a rose, that trigger connects me with a world of flowers that I have enjoyed through the years. Every emotion, every experience of stress is the result of a trigger. Each is an invitation into who we believe ourselves to be.

Triggers that cause undo stress are those that will temporarily destroy our confident Fear-Self mask and bring us into contact with our unseen, underlying Wound.

Awakening is the realization that we are not our triggers. We are what is that notices them and that which notices them is not effected by them.

Perhaps our greatest trigger of all are books, videos, and blog posts that sustain the belief that we can become personally enlightened through our integration of their message into our own lives!!!

And we see this final truth: that all of life is a single vast trigger.

Ultimately, triggers are sources of healing. In those moments we need to draw on our even deeper capacity to see (SEE) what is happening. We see the pain. We see the inadequacy belief. We see the breaking-up of our Fear-Self. And then, from within that seeing, we draw on our capacity for self-understanding and compassion to our own child selves that are arising powerfully and painfully into our consciousness. And we allow the emotions to flow within that greater channel of self-compassion and patience … for the storm will pass.

When life is too comfortable, we loose touch with our own triggers. But often having a child, losing a job, or severing an important relationship are sources of suffering that can wake us from the doldrums of everyday life. In my case, it was getting a challenging dog. Lucy became my own mirror and in a way she has become my guru.

When we can allow life to become our guru, especially in times of great personal suffering, we can allow the light of challenge to become our own healer. Life can always be counted on to provide just the right circumstances to get the healing we need. It takes us to the next level of self-realization. The deeper we go, the tougher it gets … but if Life provides us with the opportunity, then it must mean that Life believes that we are capable of taking on the challenge. We release into the pain and we are delivered onto the other side wiser, more compassionate, and stronger.

This single post has the power to change your life. Just these words can change everything. A lot went into it. If you can afford it, would you consider treating me to a latte? If so, just locate the little widget on the top left on the top of this page. Thank you