This person is struggling with all the stuff that all seekers, the writer included, struggle with … or, at least, I used to struggle with. Many of you will discover that this letter will give you the clarity that you have sought.
The brain cannot “know” this world. It can’t “know” you and it can’t “know” your parents. Also, the brain cannot awaken from its own beliefs in its ability to conquer, once and for all, these problems of definition and selfhood. Life does not allow it to work this way. The brain is not suited for this task.
The more you struggle “to work” on your problems, you‘ll just sustain the very suffering and struggle that you so want to end.
Like me, you are brain reliant and that is the error. The brain is an amazing tool, but it’s job is not to KNOW, but to navigate through situations when it serves awareness. It is simple seeing that is the key that brushes aside the false and incorrect pretenses of the brain.The brain is a tool in service to awareness.
When we rely on the brain to know stuff, we are placing it in an untenable place. We are forcing it to be and do things that it is not designed to know or do. The result will always be a kind of craziness that manifests in countless ways, but they are usually a form manifesting as existential insecurity. Since nearly everyone does this shit, we have the world we have; a universe of confused and terrified people wearing their best make-up and most refined masks to cover over the deep fear that underlies their facade of security and invulnerability. Your father relied on his patriarchal authority to give him the security he sorely needed in his life, which makes him rather insufferable to others.
What happens when you realize that the brain is the wrong tool for the job of knowing?
You realize that the whole venture of struggling to “know” is the decisive error. You realize that all of your struggles were the method you used to address your own insecurities. And what are these insecurities?
They are the belief that you INSUFFICIENTLY KNOW THE WORLD TO BE SUFFICIENT TO IT. And what do we call this belief?
It is the core belief, the Wound, the self-organizing thought that trumps all other thoughts. It is to this thought that blocks what you (and me, from time to time) have called awakening.
It’s very scary to give up on knowing. After all, it has been your religious-like belief in knowing that has been your best mask and most thoroughly used tool throughout your life. It has been the strategy on which you have relied on for so many years. How can you live without this tool? That is the question that will haunt you.
Ultimately it’s an issue of having the knot undo itself. As it is said in the tao (very loosely translated), people of the world learn everyday, the person of the tao unlearns everyday.
You only need to know one thing, the effort to know has been your shield, your protector, but it is also has formed wall that sustains the very life you’re sick of living.
Give it up and bow in gratefulness to the immediacy of this life – the Buddha-Mind. What you’ll discover is that there is fleeting knowing happening all the time The you that worked so hard to reduce suffering by achieving a kind of “final” knowing, but was actually the primary cause of your psychological anguish all along, will demand to be heard. Is there anything in this universe more addictive than the false-self? This is like going cold turkey, for we are all addicts of the self.
Frankly, it is realized that you really don’t ever need to give a shit. What is freedom? What is liberation? It is that.
It is the capacity to be with this life no matter what form it assumes. It is not to contract into a mental prison cell of our own making, which is what you have been doing all along. This doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be “happy” or “lovey” all the time. It has never meant that. It’s to be free of the veneer of false knowing that we constantly throw up on the ever-changing canvas of life.
Freedom is freedom from all false needs. When you’re free of the demand to possess (like a rare jewel) a final solution to life, then you really are free. You’re also free to tell your father to fuck off if he really is driving you crazy OR you’re free to get where he’s coming from and just show him a little love, what I’m very sure was in VERY short supply when he was young. It’s all life expressing itself as THIS life. This is what you were born for.
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You Will Love This: A Letter to a Seeker by A Voice, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.