a-heavy-burden

The Heavy Burden of the Self

 

Eventually, all seeking, wanting, desiring, making up shit is all just the same process with different masks.

The self is a burden, a pain in the butt, an unnecessary artifice … (and here’s the important part) this self is a product of the super-ego.

The Super Ego

The super-ego is that psychological limb that echoes the voice of our inner parent. It is the parents who, despite the loving projections they might have expressed, also informed you, ten thousand times, how inadequate you were. These same parents probably believed that they were expressing their love by demeaning and minimizing their children. The super-ego, as self, is thus the voice of the Wound. The Wound is deepest self-conception of the psychological self.

It tells us that we are an object, a thing, something with a past and a future. It also tells us that all too often we are not enough, not sufficient, and not okay. We aren’t smart enough, not good-looking enough, not quick enough. So we produce a world of over compensators. We try, too hard, to be smart, good-looking, interesting, worthy of attention and love, and even enlightened!

The world we find so difficult to understand is our world. It is the place where billions of human beings struggle to be the person they are not.

But, we as an object, no matter what we do in our projected life, can never be enough. There never can be enough excitement, attention, power, money, and love. Always, there is something missing.

This is the burden of the self. The whole thing is a lie, because we are not a thing. It is our psychological inheritance … the continuing false story of the non-self. We never were a thing and we never will be a thing.

The Happening of Now

What is happening now is just happening. It is movement … a movement that can never be fixed into a “thing”. The thingness is imputed by the super-ego. It’s an essential function of the super-ego to impute a thing that we label as “me”. Without a “me” there is no super-ego.

This universe of things is the created world of perennial separation.

Every feeling and thought that arises spontaneously is just that; stuff that happens. This underlying, evaluating “me” is also a happening that comes and goes. See if this is true in your own life. Please don’t believe these words just because I am typing these words into a word processor. Try not making them into one more thing.

This “me” demands and demands. The super-ego can never be satisfied. It’s screaming for this and that … always more of this and less of that and then more of that and less of this … is just noise, not really much different from the noise of passing traffic. No one need accord it any value at all.

Who would you be, free, utterly, of this demanding “me”? That’s a really good question to ask yourself. If you inquire into this question try not to project a wonderful future free of this vexing “me”. Try focusing on just right now and then the next right now. No me. No past. No future. Just this … and then this and … just this.

The super-ego “me” projects a past, it projects a future, but it can never EVER project what is already happening. This is where the truth lives.

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