I ask you this: Is it anger that keeps the search alive?
Are you angry that you are not the person you want to be?
Are you angry that life fails to be as exalted and blissful as you expect awakening to would cause it to be?
Are you angry at yourself for not being as loving as you want to be?
If so, feel the anger. Feel it in every moment. Feel the waves of frustration it creates.
Feel the fear that underlies the anger. Your anger is a response to this great underlying fear.
This fear is the primal echo of the child who never had the opportunity to know his own beauty, his own uniqueness, his own wonder. All of that was blunted in a world that made demands on him before he even knew what a demand was.
I’ve said it many times before, but nearly all of us learn the profoundly dehumanizing lesson that love must be earned. It is not a birthright. And thus we dedicate so much of our lives searching for love only to find it come and go or we do the opposite, we show to the world just how unlovable we are.
Each path is one of misery.
And all of that is what creates the angry person. Most of the time the anger is quiet, simmering, a kind of background noise. Now and then circumstances give it a channel to express itself with a lot more energy and vigor and then it returns to its dark cave where the self lives rather contracted in itself.
This is not the life we wanted to live, but it is the life we live nonetheless.
Notice the anger. Feel it in your body. Observe it in your intentions and thinking. It’s there. You really can’t miss it.
Ultimately it is realized that there is nothing we can do. Observing takes us so far. Then we must rest from the pursuit and express the full powerlessness that we truly are.
Know nothing for you know nothing. You don’t know anything about yourself, for there is no self to know. You don’t know anything about the world, for there is no world to know.
There is just this now.
Come to this now and allow this now to come to you. You really have no choice in this. It can only be this way.
Come as nothing and go as nothing. Let the anger, fear, frustration, hopelessness, and all the rest aside. Mourn the death of the false you … for that isn’t you either. It’s just the deep memory of the Wound. It is not who or what you are.
Come in humility knowing nothing. False knowledge forms a rigid, hard armor around our hearts. It is the false knowing that keeps the false in place. It is softened by its release and the ending of belief in its belittling words … that sour inner critic who never tires of judging this and rejecting that.
This is the way. Feel the anger and come to humility. Give it all up in this one shining moment.
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Anger, Humility, and the Way by A Voice, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.